Every year I make a retreat to a monastery or hermitage, a habit I acquired when my faith was changing me and I needed time to be alone with God. Last year I was at the Society of St John the Evangelist, Cambridge MA. Five years ago I spent a week at the Monastery of the Holy Cross in West Park, NY. It was there, at lunch one day, I met a monk named Thomas.

Thomas wasn’t his original name. When you join a monastic order, it is customary to adopt the name of a favored saint. My lunch companion had chosen the name of the apostle. I asked him why. He explained that Thomas was among the bravest of apostles. Furthermore, my friend had a theory about why Thomas was absent from the room when Jesus appeared to the disciples. Instead of of hiding in fear, Thomas was out and about, putting into practice what the others were failing to do: evangelizing and teaching and healing, as Jesus expected them to do.

It’s an interesting and speculative theory; ultimately, there is no scriptural basis for it. Thomas, you will remember, showed exceptional loyalty to this Master when Jesus proposed traveling to Judea. Thomas at that time had said: “Let us go also, that we may die with him.” (John 11:16) Well, you don’t say you will die for someone unless you love them. Thomas must have loved Jesus very much.

We tend to label Thomas as “doubting Thomas”, but categorizing people can inhibit our understanding. Thomas’s doubts were, in fact, God given. As St Gregory observed, “Our Faith owes more to the faithlessness of Thomas than to the faithfulness of all the other apostles put together.”

When the disciples meet a second time, Thomas is with them. After bestowing upon them his peace, Jesus singles out Thomas for special attention. The forever loving and compassionate Lord simply invites his literally minded friend to “put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” This draws from Thomas the magnificent response, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28)

All the teaching and prophecy he received from Jesus is now fulfilled and resolved in this personal encounter with his Lord and Master. The brave apostle affirms the divinity of the risen Christ. One can imagine him turning to face his colleagues and sharing this moment of recognition with them. With joy and trepidation they, in turn, will face the world which is waiting to receive them as missioners for Christ.

Thomas shows us that “faith” is not simply a matter of believing or not believing. There are many elements, including our emotional and rational selves, which contribute to our understanding and acceptance of Jesus and Lord. When they all come together in one moment, as they did for Thomas, the effect can be electrifying. 

Thank God then for Thomas, a loyal apostle and loving teacher in matters of faith. 

With Eastertide blessings

Father David