“How was the commute?” Father Michael asked when I arrived at church on Sunday morning. I had just walked the fifty yards from the Rectory to the church entrance. It was certainly a shorter journey than the 48 mile drive to the Church of the Messiah in Gwynedd PA where, for the past fourteen months, I had served as interim rector. 

I had quit that position to make way for the new permanent rector. Unusually, the new rector was to be ordained as priest the day before her first Sunday in charge. I went to her ordination ceremony on Saturday at St John’s Episcopal Church in Norristown. 

The route to Norristown tracks most of the route to Gwynedd. It’s I95 followed by Route 476 - the “Blue Route”. I’ve done it so many times the car almost drives itself. I know every bend and curve of the road and where the potholes are. I know where bottlenecks form and which lane to take to minimize them. I know which parts of the journey have the worst drivers (going south, soon after you take the left fork to Delaware). 

On the Saturday morning I was in the car again following the route up to St John’s church, when I experienced a strange sensation. My mind told me that I was going to Church of the Messiah, where I was still the interim rector. I laughed off the feeling and corrected myself by saying, “no, you’re not going there, you’re going somewhere else!” But the feeling persisted. I kept expecting a time portal to open up and take me into a parallel universe where I was still the rector.

It’s entirely possible that I was missing the congregation and that my state of mind reflected my need to be back among them. However, there may have been another reason: the act of driving up had become a habit associated with work. As I was driving on 476, my mind recognized it and then automatically slipped into work mode. The highway had become linked to my ministry. 

It’s an example of the way habits influence our feelings and motivations. Human beings are creatures of habit, and habits perform a valuable function. Instead of waking up and thinking each morning, “where am I going and how will I get there?”, the habit of commuting leaves the mind free to concentrate on other things. But it turns out my mind was still doing something when I thought it wasn’t. It was creating its own world in which I was a passenger, rather than the driver. 

That’s the problem with habits; when we form habits, habits form us. That’s not so important when it comes to thinking about good habits, such as driving to church, but what about bad habits? Those are the things we do regularly without thinking, which harm us and harm others. There are a million and one different bad habits, but each person needs to think about their own. Breaking a bad habit is easier said than done. Changing the habit might mean changing the road on which you are traveling. 

To return to my story, when I arrived at St. John’s church in Norristown I joined in the worship and, as a priest, in the laying on of hands. After the service the new rector followed tradition by inviting those who wished to receive a personal blessing to come forward. As a long line formed, I decided to make my way to the church hall where the reception was being held. There I met members of the Church of the Messiah as well as clergy colleagues. 

After lunch I made my way back into church. The new rector had one person left to bless, but then saw me and called me over. “Do you want a blessing?” she asked. “Yes,” I replied. She reminded me that when she had come to visit me at Messiah the previous month, I had given her my blessing. Now it was her turn to bless me. I stepped forward and she placed her hands on my head and spoke a blessing. I cannot speak for her, but it was at that point that I felt my ministry to the Church of the messiah was over and that my responsibility was passing through God from me to her. 

It was one of those unforgettable moments. It felt like God was making sure that some loose ends were being tied up. As it happens, there were other encounters that day which come under the heading of “God taking care of business”. Since then I have continued to pray for the Church and its people, and give thanks for them and for all that we experienced together.

I haven’t been back on I95 or 476 since that day, but I have a feeling that it will be different the next time. 

With God’s blessings,

Father David